I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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