Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize