I think im going to throw up on grandma
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
