I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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