Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize