If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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