Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need moral support for this bender
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
