It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The Olympian is in my bed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
