I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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