Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
