I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He felt like a one man threesome
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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