dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize