I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
