Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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