Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
