mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
