I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
