I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
