I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
