it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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