And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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