Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
