This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
