This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize