its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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