I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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