i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
