she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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