I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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