So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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