That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
