i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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