I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
