wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
