I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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