There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
