Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
