This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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