I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
