I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
