I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
