Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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