My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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