dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize