I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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