Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
