If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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