I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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