I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
