we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
