The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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