I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Houston, we have a squirter
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
