i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
