Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
