What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My penis needs a shock collar
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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