she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
