he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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