I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Quick, to the slutcave!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
