i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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