Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
