it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
