looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
